Jozy Altidore: The Ugly Duckling

A career that started with such promise in 2006 was hanging in the balance just four years later, and yet another promising United States soccer prospect had wasted his athletic ability. Or so we thought. One of the aspects of our sports hungry society is the lack of patience across the board. Sometimes it's coaches getting the hook halfway through their first season and sometimes it's young players being deemed failures before they are even legally allowed to drink away the pain of being said failures. Jozy Altidore's tale is one of flash in the pan success experienced by a teenager and the trouble that can come to your career when that success comes too easily. However there is a silver lining to it all, Altidore grew up. He experienced failure and rejection, he realized hard work was necessary to excel, and he found a team and a coach that would turn around his career in two goal riddled seasons.

Jozy Altidore's professional career began when the New York/New Jersey MetroStars (New York Red Bulls) gave him his professional debut on August 23, 2006 at the age of 16. He was selected 17th overall in the MLS SuperDraft earlier in the year after the MetroStars traded up in the draft for him before he had even completed his high school diploma. Altidore quickly became loved by fans after scoring three goals in his first seven matches and overall scored 16 times in 41 appearances for the MetroStars. On June 4th, 2008 at the age of 18, Altidore was purchased by Spanish club Villareal for a MLS transfer record of $10 million. A star was born.

However as with the "star" of said Jay-Z song, the follow up efforts by Jozy Altidore left many of us snoozing. He struggled to acclimate culturally in his first few months in Spain and so instead of forcing it, Villareal sent Altidore on loan to Spanish club Xerxez in the January transfer window just six months after his arrival. At the time Xerxez was a top club in Spain's second division so Villareal was hoping that Altidore could become more accustomed to Spanish culture while having less expectations and stress that come with top flight European football. Instead Altidore injured his toe and required surgery meaning he never stepped foot on the field in a Xerxez jersey. After spending the off season rehabbing his toe Altidore was sent on loan to Hull City in the English Premier League in the next transfer window. Given the fact that he was sent with the option for Hull City to buy him it seemed his time in Villareal was running short. Still the now 19 year old striker was finding it tough to fit in on the pitch as it became clear to some that the talent he supposedly had may have been embellished. In a long, relegation battling season, Altidore managed to score just two goals in 30 total appearances for the club. To make matters worse he received a red card on the last match day in a game which Hull City lost. They were relegated from the English Premier League following that match day. Needless to say Hull City happily sent Altidore back to Villareal. All was not lost though. Rumors were swirling that Altidore had been training hard and was intent on making an impact and finding his place in Villareal. To their credit Villareal seemed to give him the opportunities early on. It was not meant to be though and again in the January transfer window Jozy Altidore was sent on loan for the third and final time of his Villareal career. This time he was sent to Buraspor, a club in the Turkish top division. Altidore ended up playing 11 matches for Buraspor and only found the net once. Buraspor didn't want Jozy and his career was left in limbo as Villareal owned his rights but wanted no parts of him. It seemed as if a promising career had been erased before Altidore turned 21 years old.

All was not lost though. In the summer of 2011 Dutch team AZ Alkmaar and manager Gertjan Verbeek decided to take a chance on the young striker. The Dutch league's open, attacking style of play was a perfect fit for Altidore as was Verbeek who had helped develop much maligned Michael Bradley into the midfield cog that he is. Altidore came into the 2011-12 campaign having been beaten down and admitted he hadn't worked hard enough in the past. That wasn't the only change though, he had matured as a person as well. He said he took time to decide on going to AZ Alkmaar. He weighed out all of his options and decided that it was in fact a good fit for him and he turned out to be correct. In his first term with AZ he led the team in scoring with 22 goals in 52 matches all the while battling for a starting position. Last year he again made his mark on Europe by surpassing Dempsey's record of most goals in Europe by an American with 31 goals in just 41 matches. Altidore attributes his turn around to multiple factors but he puts most of his success on his manager Gertjan Verbeek. He claims that Verbeek is constantly pushing him to better himself on the pitch and that the threats of being benched now inspire his play.(http://msn.foxsports.com/foxsoccer/usa/story/jozy-altidore-united-states-az-alkmaar-starting-to-deliver-062112)

After having two successful domestic campaigns in Europe Altidore is now carrying over that success to the United States Men's National Team. After scoring 13 goals in 51 matches over six years for the USMNT, Altidore has scored seven goals in ten total matches in 2013. All seven of those goals have come in the last five matches as he set a USMNT record by scoring in five straight matches after his second half hat-trick against Bosnia-Herzegovina last week. Not only is the turn around great for Altidore and the USMNT but it comes at an important juncture in first cycle manager Jurgen Klinsmann.  But that is an article for another day.

Jozy Altidore is yet another tale of writing young athletes off too early. With his tireless play on the field and his efforts with various charity groups, he has shown his maturity and has developed into a quality striker and teammate. These are exciting times for Josmer Altidore as he hopes to lead the USMNT attack in the 2014 World Cup in Brazil and beyond. After all, through an ugly start to his soccer career Jozy Altidore has flourished and made a name for himself... and he's only 23 years old.

DC United v Chivas USA in Pictures

Today marks the spawning of a new generation of DC United fans. My sons saw their first United game live and while my youngest didn't really realize we were at a game, my oldest watched large portions either on the field or on the big screen (amazed him at first). After the game he said he had a good time and he wants to go again. This bodes well for the future as he also enjoys watching parts of Manchester United games with me and knows whether they are in their red or white jerseys (his mom thought United was wearing red today against Liverpool, but he knew better). DC United had a rare dominant game with the only real threats coming at the end of each half. With him able to see and feel the roar of the stadium when United scored, he's hooked. On to the show though, you came here for the pictures (and two videos. One of a nice save by the Chivas keeper and one of the final whistle).

Parking Lot Pimpin

Pre-Game Playoff Push

United Warming Up

La Barra Brava/Screaming Eagles. Flags Waving

Line-Ups

Underway

Superhero Talon

Live at RFK

Dominating Play Early

Halftime

Flags Flying High To Start The Second Half

Goal United!

Hard Foul

Free Kick. Flags Still Flying

Legendary

Things Got Fierce Late

Game, Set, Match

Mingling

Thanks DC United

Vote or Don't

The age old thought is that democracy will not work if the people don't get out and vote. However there is another side to this argument. I will say that ideally all citizens legally allowed to vote should, in order to make this the most fair democracy possible. The problem is that it doesn't work out so cleanly in the end. With voting becoming almost pop culture with the "vote or die" fiasco and the peer pressure many face to "let their voice be heard", many people who wouldn't normally vote have come out of the woodwork the last two elections. The numbers aren't skyrocketing to never before seen heights and a lot of these voting movements are just big talk, but either way a troubling trend is occurring. People who know next to nothing about our government, it's mechanisms, nor the actual candidates are voting based off of what they read in 140 characters or hear in sound bytes. I know it happens every election, but recently the young vote has been the group targeted by candidates looking to take advantage of social networking. A huge flaw in the democratic process is also the greatest strength, anyone can vote. Scroll through your twitter/facebook timeline. Tell me how many of those people do you trust to have a say in the direction this country is going. I love America but I doubt a majority understand the electoral college and how it skews votes so that while everyone can vote, all of our votes are not equal. I also doubt that a majority of Americans realize that because of that fact, "that all men are created equal" really has no basis in reality socially, economically, or politically in this country. I'm not trying to say that certain people shouldn't vote and others should. Every individual has the right to choose who they wish for whatever reason they wish, this is America bish! It's just really important to take the time and learn the process. It's important to not listen to your candidates but read up on them and their voting history. It's important to be involved with voting not just during presidential elections, but also during Congressional, State, and Local elections. After all, the further down the totem pole you go, the more direct an impact your representative has on your daily life.

Birfday

How I feel with two kids (one of them with an ear infection) on my birthday. Thank you TSS and their comment section for introducing me to these mindless time consuming things called gifs. I am forever indebted.

Seriously though. It's my birthday. Deal with it. I'll try to get back on the grind today but we will see... yes, we will see.

9/11, "Never Forget" and Just how Un-American I am

"Never forget" is a bit irresponsible. We should all pay tribute in our own way to those lives lost on 9/11. But saying "never forget" is furthering the hatred and evil that coursed through this country in the years following 9/11. I mean why aren't we saying "never forget" for the thousands of civilian lives lost over in Iraq and Afghanistan? Do we as a people really think our lives are more important than others? I think what we should "never forget" is the actions of our government that led people to hate us with such passion that they would take it out on our civilians. Why are we not holding accountable the ones who created a foreign policy so oppressive that people felt the need to act on it? Why are we not holding ourselves accountable for allowing these actions to take place? After all we did vote the people into power who implemented those policies and reacted the way they did. I think today everyo

ne should take a minute and really reflect on why we should never forget 9/11. If its because it was a tragic loss of life then this post affects you in no way. However I think 9/11 should really teach people the importance of voting and selecting the people that represent our country. It should teach about how we need to be more involved not just in presidential elections but selecting your other representatives as well. Yes I am preaching. Yes I know this will miss many of you ideologically and others because it is too long. However I feel too strongly that this country is holding in anger against a group that has already been punished and that anger has obviously spread to hatred for a people or region of the world. So seriously, rather than just throwing out a "never forget" with a patriotic picture, how about you spend more than just one day a year thinking of the actions that led to 9/11 on both sides and the repercussions faced on both sides post 9/11. Nobody won. Everyone lost. Worldwide.

*steps down from soap-box, shakes head, walks away head down*

Wale and the Omnipresent "What If" Question

I will always remember where I was that fateful day Wale Folarin was gunned down outside the MMG offices. It's one of those moments that sticks in your head when you are from the DMV, alongside when Len Bias died and when Marion Barry got set up by that "bitch". It is yet another sad hip-hop tale. You know the story: budding career, buzz getting louder, record labels flocking. Yet this hit home like none since Tupac and Big. I backed this guy. I know I was late but from the time I first heard "Mixtape About Nothing" I knew this MoCo repper was going to do it big. He had everything from witty punchlines to deep story sessions. He could hit you with a sports zinger and follow it up with an ode to treating our women better. All the while he infused that Go-Go sound that the D Dot is so well known for. So the question is "what if?". What if Wale had chosen to wait for a more "hip-hop friendly" record label? What if that crazed gunman (you know who you are) never set up shop outside Rick Ross' kitchen? I know a lot of you will say he would have gone pop, he would have made strip club songs. When you look at the record label he was going to sign to, that's an understandable assessment. But who knows what would have happened. Suppose his desire to make quality music and his grind would rub off on his fellow label-mates. Suppose Rick Ross started rapping about the real life rigors of being a CO; the threats received from inmates, the relatively poor pay-to-danger ratio, not to mention the need to work out and stay in semi-decent shape. The struggle is real. Suppose Meek Mill started rapping about how he enjoys tandem bike rides in the summer. He could have accomplished big things. The truth is, we will never know. Rest in Peace Olubowale('s rap career). We miss you.



I'll leave you with two of many of my favorites:

Wale - The Flight "I'm like a parapaleeg, I don't know defeat... or never felt it."

 Wale - The Artistic Integrity (all jokes aside this song is the epitome of irony) "I'll never back up like Cleo Lemon on myself"

 

Top 5 Goals EPL Week 2

 5) Fernando Torres - Chelsea v Newcastle: Goal is at :32 seconds.

4) Steven Pienaar - Everton v Aston Villa:   

3) Karim El Ahmadi - Aston Villa v Everton:

2) Luis Suarez - Liverpool v Manchester City:

1) Robin van Persie - Manchester United v Fulham: Simply sublime... ly lucky.

Uninspired: The Tale of Manchester United v Fulham

Manchester United escaped with a 3-2 victory over Fulham today in Old Trafford. Add a handful more key reaction saves to David DeGea's record with United as he was under fire early and often. Outside of a seven minute period in the first half, United looked out-manned. A result is a result however and at the end of the season this will not be one of the games that people are talking about as a potential season turner one way or the other. Unless of course Wayne Rooney's gash turns out to be more serious that the month long time off he will apparently need. On a positive note both Robin van Persie and Shinji Kagawa (who after one and a half games became my favorite Red Devil) scored their first goals for United and did it in front of the home crowd. Videos at bottom of post.

David DeGea: Almost an identical performance to his first game. Very good with the reaction saves, terrible on crosses. Both him and Vidic were at fault for the own goal that brought Fulham within one.

Rafael Da Silva: Started at right back today mostly due to the fact that Nani made it painfully obvious against Everton that Valencia needed to be moved up front. He played very well pushing forward. He had one goal called off on a questionable offside call but put one in the back of the net just minutes later to atone. Found himself out of position at times per the usual and also lunged in on too many tackles, per the usual.

Michael Carrick: Performed admirably again in his fill in roll at center back. The issue is teams in the top half of the league will tear him apart if he continues to play out of position. He looks to be United's center back for at least two more games (Southampton (A), Wigan (H)) .

Nemanja Vidic: After an impressive first game back after knee surgery, Vidic looked much more like a man who hasn't played in almost a year. He seemed unsure on the ball and found himself bodied by a much smaller Mladen Petric on the own goal. It was a scorpion-kick for a goal though which not many players can say they have done.

Patrice Evra: Ever the liability. He pushes forward, but mostly in nonthreatening ways. He finds himself not only out of position on defense, but easily skirted when in position. It's exhausting watching him play. He did assist on van Persie's wonder goal however.

Antonio Valencia: Moved up to his more natural position in the right of United's midfield Valencia had a solid game. He put in a lot of dangerous crosses and him and Rafael seem to be developing some cohesion rather nicely.

Anderson: Impressive today. He controlled the ball well, made good decisions, and generally was wherever he was needed on the pitch. For how chunky he seems to be the guy has an engine on him. He provided a much needed spark that was missing from the United midfield against Everton.

Tom Cleverley: Rather underwhelming. He didn't hurt United and while he worked tirelessly, again it seemed to be a lot of wasted effort. He made some good decisions and some not-so-good ones. It seems like it'll take a bit of time for United's midfield to gel.

Shinji Kagawa: Quite simply... the man. I said in a previous article that Kagawa may take over as the engine in the Manchester United attack. With Wayne Rooney out for a month it could very well happen sooner than later. He played positive soccer today and was always looking to set someone up. Was johnny on the spot for his tap in goal (below), his first ever for United.

Ashley Young: He had an amazing start to his United career last season however he played relatively poorly in Euro 12 for England and looks to have carried that over into the season. He just looked off today playing on the left of the midfield and never really threatened to score. His crosses also seem to be off.

Robin van Persie: The 24 million pound man opened his tally sheet today with a blissful strike (below) to even the game early and respond to Fulham's fast start. Overall he played rather well today making positive decisions and working as not only a decoy, but set-up man as well.

Wayne Rooney: Came on for Shinji Kagawa in the 68th minute and quickly was lost for a month. A fluke stamp by one of those Fulham players left a huge gash (seen above) on his leg. Rough start to the season injury-wise for United.

Danny Welbeck: Came on for Ashley Young and wasn't heard from much. It wasn't his fault though as Fulham dominated control for the last 20 minutes of the game, pressing United for the equalizer.

Ryan Giggs: Came on late for United to help settle the game down and maintain possession. It did not work. United as a team were never really able to get their feet under them after the own goal.

Robin van Persie's 1st United Golazo!

Shinji Kagawa's 1st United Goal

Have You Ever?

Have you ever left Subway and yelled in your best Big K.R.I.T. voice "I STILL GOT MY SUB HO!"? Because I have and will continue to do so until the day I rest.

#np Le$ - Making Noise

In the past I've never liked Houston music. Never been a fan of Paul Wall or Slim Thug. Never was a fan of chopped & screwed. However over the past two plus years, age and kids have expanded my horizons. While I still don't vibe with Paul Wall I've come to appreciate chopped & screwed for what it brings to the table. With this new line of thinking a few weeks ago I decided to give Le$ "Playa Potna" mixtape a spin. I'd heard and read a few things about the tape and it was unanimously good so I figured why not. I was pleasantly surprised. The mixtape is Slim Thug heavy so I assumed two things about Le$. One, he's from Houston. Two, Boss Hogg Outlawz has to be Slim Thug's record label or something. After a quick google search I'm still not entirely certain. I'm pretty sure he's from Houston and I'm almost positive Boss Hogg Outlawz is a rap group and record label. Please correct me if I'm wrong though as a little knowledge never hurts. Anyway. This morning I was driving and Le$- Making Noise came on and fit perfectly with the nice weather, windows down, system up mood I was in. While it isn't close to my favorite song on the tape, it stuck today and was playing at all times in the whip.

Le$, Lil Keke, Mug & Dre Day - Making Noise

Legitimate Rape

Saw this today...

*PING PING*: 10 Players in the EPL That Should be on Your Radar

For some of you this may all be something you already know. For others who don't follow soccer as closely this could actually prove helpful. Every season in every sport there are a group of players who step up from a relative unknown to, if not a household name, at least a known commodity. So right now what I am going to try to do is provide you with 10 players that have impressed me when I've seen them and could obtain the media attention that draws the big money deals this season.

• Eden Hazard - Chelsea: This character won the Ligue 1 (top French league) player of the year the past two seasons. The fact that he played in France and internationally reps Belgium is the only reason he isn't a household name. At 21 years old look for Hazard to establish himself quickly in the EPL. His first two games he has 3 assists and has drawn 2 penalty kicks. You'll hear about him shortly.

• Marko Marin - Chelsea: This is one that I'm not certain of. Everytime I've seen Marin play he has been the most important player in the attacking third for his team. Granted I've only seen him play four times but the man can play. He struggled with form last year and his small stature could hinder him in the EPL but he is sublime on and off the ball when in-form.

• Santi Cazorla - Arsenal: Admittedly I didn't know about Cazorla until this summer. As with Marin I've only watched a handful of games of his, but unlike with Marin I'm pretty sure that he will blow up this season. His control of the ball is great and his combined passing abilities and vision make for a deadly combo... maybe even one that will have RVP watching Arsenal games forlornly... nah.

• Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain - Arsenal: He's been getting more publicity over the past 9 months or so as he was thrust into both the Arsenal squad last season and England's Euro squad this summer. He is confident with the ball and generally, save for a few youthful mistakes, makes strong team decisions in the attacking third.

• Marouane Fellaini - Everton: Absolutely brilliant to start the season against Manchester United. He is a large target up front (6'3") who controls the ball well and seems to be a great player to play with. Fellaini is talented enough to create his own opportunities but smart enough to see when there is a better chance elsewhere.

• Shinji Kagawa - Manchester United - I know him well because the past two seasons Borussia Dortmund has been my second favorite team (sadly I'll have to find a new one *ahem PSG*). He is an extremely quick thinking attacking midfielder. He is unselfish yet scores goals at an impressive clip for a midfielder. I can see him unsettling Rooney as the engine of the attack and leave Rooney and RVP free to roam for chances.

• Tom Cleverley - Manchester United: If this young man can avoid injuries he can pack a lot of learning in this season playing alongside Paul Scholes. He tends to use his excessive amounts of energy poorly but it allows him to pop-up in unexpected places which can wreak havoc on a defense. Again he has a small sample of playing time but his passing is direct and dangerous.

• Yohan Cabaye - Newcastle: The French midfielder has been impressive internationally and in the EPL. He plays an aesthetically pleasing game and if Newcastle build off their strong season last year he could get some love from the media.

• Pavel Pogrebnyak - Reading: He came into the EPL in the January transfer window and immediately showed he has a knack for goal. Moving from Fulham to Reading this year could hurt the striker, but if he plays well it could end up helping him in making a name.

• Romelu Lukaku - West Brom: On loan to WBA from Chelsea, I'm rooting for Lukaku to break through with first team run this year. He seems to have the makings of a great striker. Strong on and off the ball, good at finishing, and reasonably fast, the only reason he won't develop this season is mental.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race? Not at This Pace: Manchester United v Everton Review

Manchester United got off to a tumultuous start to the season to say the least. What was supposed to be a rebirth in attack of the '99 treble winning team began with a quivering queef. While United dominated possession, Everton was busy creating chances through Belgian Marouane Fellaini. He was everywhere on the pitch and pulled his best Yaya Toure impression ala the last Manchester Derby. My review each week will be of the Manchester United players as I focus on them and don't always notice the little things players do on opposing teams in our fixtures.

David DeGea: United's man of the match. If not for some great reaction saves and some help from the ironwork this game could have been much worse. He still needs to work on his strength and punching because he has problems with crosses.

Antonio Valencia: While he has the ability to play right back it's not his ideal usage. As was evidenced early he doesn't have the grit to tangle in the box. Fellaini muscled past him and Carrick (another playing out of position) before chipping DeGea and having the ball carom off the post. Valencia would have been much more useful further up the field where Nani was floundering.

Nemanja Vidic: Impressive his first game back. Other than a couple instances that can easily be attributed to rust after not having played most of last season, Vidic was sturdy in the center of defense.

Michael Carrick: A natural central midfielder, Carrick was part of the center of defense against Everton due to injuries to Rio Ferdinand, Phil Jones, Chris Smalling, and Johnny Evans at that position. He put up the required effort but was just to small and too slow to handle Fellaini and was towered over on Fellaini's game-winner.

Patrice Evra: Evra continued his poor form from last season. While he made appearances up the pitch, his crosses were never threatening (a team-wide problem). He is too easily skirted by defenders and Sir Alex seems to realize this as United just brought in left back Alexander Buttner from Vitesse.

Paul Scholes: Predictable and slow. Scholes' clever turns with the ball were being easily jumped by Everton players in bad spots on the pitch. None of his long balls were threatening in any sense of the word. As the distributor in the offense he needed to stop the side to side play and begin trying to unlock the Everton defense.

Tom Cleverley: There was a point in the game when Cleverley just disappeared. I think it was during the first 94 minutes.

Shinji Kagawa: I have been excited to see him in a United jersey during an EPL match since the rumors first began. I loved watching this guy play at Borussia Dortmund the past two years and knew he had the creative spark we were missing for stretches last year. He had a decent enough opener but had little help around him as everyone looked sub par. He seemed to be thinking faster than his teammates which left plenty of lost chances. It will take time for Kagawa and the team to get acclimated. Hopefully not too much though.

Danny Welbeck: Played well enough before being subbed out by Robin van Persie. Had some impressive runs up the left but overall looked out of position. Tracked back smartly when Evra was being lazy. He is certainly much better suited as a striker.

Wayne Rooney: Poor showing from Rooney. He never found his first touch and always seemed a bit off with his passes. He was far too hesitant and seemed to let the atmosphere affect him.

Luis Nani: Horrendous game. Every single cross of his hit off the first defender, without fail. He received an early yellow for a poor tackle and it could have been his second of the game as he berated a linesman but failed to receive a yellow.

Robin van Persie: 25 minutes and not even a peep. Lets hope him, Rooney, and Kagawa can meld. It will be deadly if that happens.

Ashley Young: Came on in the 78th minute for Nani. If not for his poor performance I would have said this sub was done far too late. However from the moment he came on he began throwing cross after cross off the first defender.

Anderson: Provided some much needed energy in the midfield behind Kagawa but after coming on in the 85th minute is was far too little, far too late.

I want to take a second here and praise Marouane Fellaini. The dude absolutely killed United and quite honestly does it every time they play. Today was the Coup de Grace though and I would be shocked if he is in an Everton jersey this time next year. He's been consistent since he's been there and if he can have a few good showings against big squads like this I don't see how someone won't scoop him. It wasn't just the physicality of his play. His first touch is amazing. He receives balls from the back at neck level and not only brings them down, but does so in threatening positions. In basketball terms this man receives the ball in the air from about 30 yards away in triple threat position. Yeah, he can't use his hands.

The video is nine minutes long but it's damn impressive. It contains every touch of the ball Fellaini had during the game. Link here

EPL Top 5 Goals Week 1

On with the top goals of week one...

5) Branislov Ivanovic - Chelsea: The great thing about this goal isn't the shot as much as it is the build up. To go from defending to scoring that quickly is impressive.

4) Demba Ba - Newcastle: Just a nice shot off of a poor clearance.

3) Michu - Swansea City: Great one touch finish. Swansea ran roughshod over poor QPR.

2) Zolton Gera - West Bromwich Albion: What a volley. What else can be said?

1) Alexander Kacanicklic - Fulham: Classy all around. Easily my favorite goal of the week just because of how slick it was. And this was the team that was going to struggle without Clint Dempsey.

Bonus Video: Steven Taylor keeps his head in the game: Saw this while watching game recaps and had to share. A calm forward back-pass to the goalie.

"My Anunnaki Flow"

By now most of you have heard "Nibiru" by Ab-Soul. The song is absolute fire and is probably my favorite out of the trio of releases TDE just let out. If you haven't heard it TSS has all three in one post (here:TDE Christmas). The subject matter of the song is what made me listen to it first. Now I hate to be that guy here, but Ab-Soul has his facts mixed up in this song. I know, I know, he doesn't care and he was just making some damn good music while possibly comparing the TDE movement's affect on rap to a world altering event. I'm not talking shit. All I'm saying here is that the "true" story behind Anunnaki and the Nibiru cataclysm is actually far more interesting than he could have possibly explained in four minutes even with wikipedia open in front of him. So I went out and found the sites for you. I hope you enjoy the read.

And for those of you that get lost in wikipedia, I apologize in advance for the lost time spent learning.

Nibiru Cataclysm

Nibiru (from Babylonian Astronomy)

Anunnaki (Sumerian Gods)

EPL Preview Garnished with Hennessy

*note: I write my first sentence of this post as I take my first sip of Hennessy. Deal with it.*

Guest Appearance -- "Theo Walcott will prove again to be very fast, he runs very swiftly, he is a gazelle. Man U will again finish second, unless Tottenham does. I love Tater Tots. Man City will once more hoist the trophy in victory. And Arsenal will round it out with that four spot. Thus spake he who knows all. The Bermudian." -- E Diggity AKA E Money Bags AKA Arts and Crafts AKA Erk

This season in the EPL kicks off with a bit of extra hype as Robin van Persie left Arsenal to move to Manchester United. There were plenty of other moves this transfer window and I will undoubtedly cover some of them. Basically my job here went from being a season preview to being a preview of a handful of teams then giving my standings for the end of the year. On with the PANDAmonium (oh henny)...

MANCHESTER UNITED:  Got to start here. The addition of van Persie can only help. One of two things seem to be destined. Everyone up front feeds off each other, enjoys playing together, and United not only don't lose on goal differential but end up taking the treble. Or it could be that Chicharito (or less likely Welbeck) gets sold and extra cash comes in to not be used on the team but on the debt that the owners have saddled the team with. Another surplus the team has is at winger. With Nani, Valencia, and Young all vying for two and maybe even one spot. I can see Nani being the most likely to be moved as he has clashed with Sir Alex before and genuinely doesn't seem to care where he plays. While Valencia was used at right back last season he is far more effective pushing up the right touchline and forcing the attack. The center of the pitch looks to be an issue for United unless the oft-injured Cleverly and Anderson can stay healthy. Scholes is another year older and while I think new addition Shinji Kagawa can play in the center of the pitch he is certainly more useful pushed up behind the striker or out on the left. A little extra help at the full back positions could go a long way in what I can only hope will be an extremely long season.

ARSENAL:  This team quickly became one of my dark horses even after ditching the unhappy RVP. Arsenal doesn't look to have lost much from last year's team with the transfer window additions of Podolski, Giroud, and Santi Cazorla. While they had an undoubtedly rough start today I think this team should be fine in the long run. Jack Wilshere looks to come back in October (we'll see) and will only strengthen the team whenever he does return to the pitch. Santi Cazorla really shined today and during his preseason appearances. While both Podolski and Giroud looked out of step today, both are high class strikers and should be just fine. My favorite thing about this team though may be watching Gervinho send shot after shot off of the nearest defender.

MANCHESTER CITY:  Oddly quiet in the transfer window, as best I can remember their only addition is Jack Rodwell, who may not even feature much with this still stacked team. They have world class footballers all around upfront and the ever up and down Mario Ballotelli looks to add consistency to his game in order to cement his role. This team as always is carried by Yaya Toure who I still haven't forgiven for his absolute demolition of Ji-Sung Park last season.

CHELSEA: They have had an impressive transfer window and may actually improve upon it soon. So far their additions include Oscar, Eden Hazard, and Marko Marin while they've sent Lukaku and De Bruyne out on loan to get experience. Their two main losses are Drogba and Kalou who while they won't be easily replaced, look to be covered with this window's acquisitions.

LIVERPOOL: SUCK ASS.

QPR: I'm just impressed with their acquisitions this window. Not sitting here trying to feed you a line that they will be this year's Newcastle, but I like the moves. Ji-Sung Park, Jose Bosingwa, Andrew Johnson, Robert Green, and Samba Diakite all came over on permanent moves. They also picked up Manchester United's Fabio on loan.

Onto the standings:

1) Manchester United

2) Manchester City

3) Chelsea

4) Arsenal

5) Newcastle United

6) Tottenham

7) Swansea City

8)Stoke City

9) Everton

10) QPR

11) West Bromwich Albion

12) Sunderland

13) Liverpool

14) Wigan Athletic

15) Fulham

16)  Aston Villa

17) West Ham United

18) Norwich City

19) Southampton

20) Reading

Pimpin on a Budget

I love shirts for five dollars or less. Burlington Coat Factory has shirts for five dollars or less. I love Burlington Coat Factory.

On a side note though. I'm almost positive that the BCF  in my area turns down decent employees. I know plenty of hard working individuals looking for jobs, yet the people that work at this store are averse to dealing with customers. Look at it this way. When I'm trying to check out, you know the part where I give you my money, I shouldn't have to walk back into the store to find someone to ring me up. It's all good though, I love shirts for five dollars or less.

Easily my favorite.

Grillmaster General

Yesterday was a perfect day for grilling so I went for it. Had some chicken laying around waiting to go bad in my stomach, threw some random spices and sauces in a bowl and...

 

"I PIMP LIKE TA-DOW!"

Things That Require You to Change Your Clothes

Waking up to this most certainly will. I was driving and my passenger was sleeping. I awoke him with screams of "Oh shit we're gonna die". He lost points in my book this day.

Montgomery County Fair

The Montgomery County Fair, where there are more types of poop than there are types of animals. There are only three days left for you to enjoy the fairgrounds my DMV followers. If you are bored the next two days will be ideal summer temperatures to attend. I know I'm taking my young ones.

MoCo Fair